Maybe I am a bit of a jelly belly. BUT I DON’T GIVE A H00T. People should give me absolutely no reason to be even remotely jealous when it comes to my boyfriend. Nay, not jealous. Just annoyed. Do not flirt with my boyfriend. Do not touch his arm, or get unnecessarily close when you try to make conversation or sit next to him. And don’t ask him to toss a fucking pretzel in your mouth. You look stupid. Especially when I am in the immediate area, watching you be a skanky skank. I have a great relationship and have absolutely no worries about anyone else ruining that. But watching you try to be cute to impress the guy that I’m dating is flat out obnoxious and I don’t like seeing it. Thank you and good night.
The North Ronaldsay is a breed of sheep living on North Ronaldsay, the northernmost of the Orkney Islands, Scotland. They are notable for living almost entirely on seaweed for several months of the year, except for a short lambing season – this is the only forage available to them, as they are confined to the shoreline by a 6 feet (1.8 m) tall dry-stone wall which encloses the whole island. (via Mark Crumpton)
Tired and emotional is a chiefly British euphemism for being drunk. It was popularised by the British satirical magazine Private Eye in 1967 after being used in a spoof diplomatic memo to describe the state of Labour Cabinet minister George Brown, but is now used as a stock phrase, possibly because of British slander and libel law.